


angsty teens and edgy memes

by renjwns



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, changbin loves drama, jeongin doesnt take anyones shit, jilix are besties, jisung is the leader of the felix protection squad, just angsty teens in high school, there's a fight with spoons, they're not idols in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-12 12:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13546893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renjwns/pseuds/renjwns
Summary: jisung:i'm having a midlife crisischan:technically isnt every crisis midlife since we dont know when we're gonna diewoojin:chan shut up[ in which stray kids are suffering high school students and chan doesn't get paid enough for this ]





	1. stuck in 2006

**_chat: [distant emo music] (9)_ **

 

 

 **minho:** I CNST FU KIN

 **minho:** BRTEATH

 

 **seungmin:** oh

 

 **jisung:** FIUIWFOUERG

 **jisung:** OH MYFNODB HELEFE

 

 **chan:** what's going on

 

 **minho:** FUCKIND

 **minho:** JEONGIN

 **minho:** JUST PUSHD HYUNJIN DOWN THE STAIRS

 **minho:** THS IWF SO FUNNY KFOE

 

 **chan:** is he okay?????

 

 **jisung:** IDK

 **jisung:** MAYBE

 **jisung:** HAVENT CHECKED TOO BUSY CRYING

 

 **chan:** ok but maybe you should?? idk???

 **chan:** check??

 

 **jisung:** no hyung you dont understand this is the funniest thing i've ever seen

 **jisung:** you had to have seen it to understand

 

 **chan:** oh please do tell

 

 **minho:** okok so like

 **minho:** earlier in the day jeongin was eating lunch

 **minho:** dont remember what it was but his mom had made it for him and he was all excited bc she doesnt usually have enough time

 **minho:** he's so cute i love him

 **minho:** anYWAY suddenly hyunjin shows up and is like yo give me a bite

 **minho:** and jeongin is like ok but just a little

 **minho:** and hyunjin just fuckin

 **minho:** inhales it all

 

 **chan:** jesus christ that kid is like a human vacuum cleaner 

 

 **minho:** so now jeongin looks ready to kill a man so hyunjin just kinda

 **minho:** runs away

 

 **jisung:** AND THEN AT THE END OF TODAY WHEN HYUNJIN WAS COMING DOWN THE STAIRS

 **jisung:** JEONGIN CAME UP BEHIND HIM AND FUCKING SHOVED HIM

 **jisung:** IT WAS SO FUNNY

 

 **hyunjin:** STOP LAUGHING AT MY PAIN YOU BASTARDS

 

 **minho:** AHAHWEWUG

 

 **chan:** glad to see youre okay

 

 **hyunjin:** no thanks to these assholes

 **hyunjin:** theyre still laughing in front of the stairs

 

 **chan:** why are you still on the ground

 

 **hyunjin:** im too ashamed to get up

 **hyunjin:** i was beat by a baby

 

 **jeongin:** you bout to get beat by a baby again if u dont watch yourself

 

 **jisung:** jeongin i love you

 **jisung:** pls marry me

 

 **jeongin:** ew no

 

 **chan:** jeongin you shouldn't be pushing people down stairs

 

 **jeongin:** buthyung he ate my food

 

 **chan:** oh right

 **chan:** carry on then

 

**hyunjin:**

****

 

**-**

 

 

 **jisung:** i'm having a midlife crisis

 

 **chan:** technically isnt every crisis midlife since we dont know when we're gonna die??

 

 **woojin:** chan shut up

 

 **seungmin:** what's your so called "midlife crisis"

 

 **jisung:** i think im gay

 

 **minho:** we been knew

 

 **jisung:** im serious!!

 **jisung:** i always thought i liked girls but the other day during gym i was like

 **jisung:** "shit man guys are hot as fuck"

 

 **seungmin:** big mood

 

 **jeongin:** enlarged emotion

 

 **seungmin:**  no

 

 **felix:** i support you jisungie!!!

 **felix:** no matter what your sexuality is, you'll always be my best friend!!!!

 

 **jisung:** i think im gonna tear up wtf

 **jisung:** felix we dont deserve you youre an angel

 

 **felix:** please im blushing (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

 

 **jisung:** youre so cute ily

 

 **felix:** ily2!! ♡(灬´ㅂ`灬)

 

 **chan:** plot twist jisung realized he's gay bc he's in love with felix

 

 **jisung:** but i am in love with felix

 

 **changbin:** what

 

 **jisung:** he's my platonic soulmate (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

 

 **jeongin:** disgusting

 

 **woojin:** anyway jisung are you sure??

 

 **jisung:** idk

 **jisung:** im still kinda confused

 

 **chan:** take your time!!

 **chan:** some people spend years finding out their true identity

 **chan:** we'll be here every step of the way

 

 **jisung:** this is getting to soft and supportive im gonna need you to take it down a notch

 

 **changbin:** see 

 **changbin:** this is why we cant have nice things

 

-

 

 **minho:** i was walking down the hall today and this group of girls looked absolutely terrified

 **minho:** which one of you shits is telling people lies abt me again

 

 **jisung:** it was jeongin

 

 **jeongin:** what no it wasnt

 

 **jisung:** where's your proof

 **jisung:** show me the screenshots

 

 **jeongin:** choke

 

 **minho:** guys pls

 

 **jeongin:** it's probably cause you're so handsome hyung

 **jeongin:** they're amazed by your beauty

 

 **changbin:** nah it's bc he looks like he's still in 2006

 

 **minho:** this is why jeongin's my favorite

 

 **seungmin:** omg no changbin hyung is right

 **seungmin:** you do look like youre in your emo phase in 2006

 

 **changbin:** everyone is scared of you

 

 **jeongin:** but hyung people do the same thing to you

 

 **seungmin:** they do it to most of us

 

 **changbin:** we're dark and evil

 **changbin:** people fear us

 

 **felix:** hi guys!!!!!!!!!（˶′◡‵˶）

 

 **changbin:** gdi felix

 

 **felix:** we're not dark who tf do you think you are

 **felix:** you're literally the softest person i know

 

 **changbin:** this is a false accusation

 

 **felix:** you call yourself binnie binnie

 

 **changbin:** suddenly i cant read, i dont know

 

-

 

 **woojin:** hyunjin's a furry

 

 **hyunjin:**  no im not dont listen to him

 

 **woojin:** all they need to do is come to your house and open your closet

 **woojin:** i mean damn how many animal headbands can you fit in here

 

 **hyunjin:** they're from amusement parks!!

 **hyunjin:** it's not a good trip to an amusement park without buying a headband!!

 

 **woojin:** sure jan

 

 **hyunjin:** shut the fuck up

 

 **chan:** language

 

 **hyunjin:** quiet the fuck up

 

 **chan:** i quit

 

-

 

 **jeongin:** milk or cereal first

 

**minho:**

 

 **jisung:** nope we're not doing this again 

 **jisung:** discussion over

 

 **jeongin:** aw youre no fun

 

 **jisung:** no fun??

 **jisung:** woojin hyung sprained his wrist the last time we had this debate

 

 **jeongin:** not my fault he can't accept that normal people put cereal first

 

 **woojin:** you wanna get fought maknae i'll take you down

 

 **felix:** oh not this again

 

 **jeongin:** come at me old man 

 

 **felix:** chan hyung help

 

 **chan:** children pls

 

 **jeongin:** shut up you're not my dad

 

 **woojin:** im older than you rat

 

 **chan:** well i tried

 

 **seungmin:** omg jeongin just walked out of his house 

 **seungmin:** he looks so pressed aiugdug

 

 **minho:** WOOJIN HYUNG JUST LEFT HIS HOUSE ADGUY THEY REALLY GON FIGHT

 

 **chan:** NO

 

 **changbin:** YES

 

 **hyunjin:** fight! fight! fight! fight!

 

 **jeongin:** meet me at the park oldie it's on

 

 **woojin:** already on my way bitch

 

 **jisung:** don't forget your spoons

 

 **felix:** jisung youre not helping

 

 **jisung:** oh i know

 

 **felix:** this chat is a mess

 

-

 

 **chan:** i can't believe

 **chan:** y'all fought in the park

 **chan:** with spoons

 

 **jeongin:** it was a serious debate

 

 **chan:** there were children there!

 

 **jeongin:** they can look away!

 

 **chan:** i dont care

 **chan:** you're grounded

 **chan:** both of you

 

 **jeongin:** you cant do that

 

 **chan:** oh yes i can

 

 **woojin:** im your hyung you cant ground me

 

 **chan:** watch me

 

 **changbin:** ohhh i love drama

 

 **felix:** hyung please stop talking forever

 

-

 

 **hyunjin:** i am

 **hyunjin:** Disgusted

 

 **chan:** what did felix and jisung do now

 

 **felix:** im offended you just assumed it was us

 

 **chan:** was it tho?

 

 **jisung:** irrelevant, next question

 

 **hyunjin:** it was indeed those two rats

 

 **seungmin:** you just had to ask

 

 **hyunjin:** i was just sitting there, innocently eating my lunch

 **hyunjin:** when jisung turns to felix and goes

 **hyunjin:** "bro, tell the world we're bros"

 **hyunjin:** so felix turns and whispers back "we're bros"

 **hyunjin:** and jisung is like "why'd you whisper"

 **hyunjin:** "because you're my world bro"

 **hyunjin:** "bro"

 **hyunjin:** i think im actually gonna suffocate myself they've been saying bro back and forth for ten minutes

 

 **minho:** just let the bros be bros hyunjin

 

 **jisung:** see minho gets it

 

 **felix:** minho is the real og

 

 **hyunjin:**  im leaving the group

 

 **jeongin:** we wont miss you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how i feel abt this but lmao oh well  
> i love stray kids ok they deserve the world so here's another chatfic bc it's not like this has been done before aha
> 
> also!! would you guys want ships or for it to stay completely platonic?? and if you want ships, which ones?? i ship pretty much everything bc it's all just one big lovefest with them so


	2. hype beast felix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **chan:** i didnt bring all you fuckers together just for everyone to make this twink a cult and not me

_**chat: [distant emo music] (9)** _

 

 **chan:** felix get in here we need to talk

 

 **hyunjin:** uh oh dad's mad

 

 **felix:** shut up

 **felix:** yes father what can i do for you on this fine afternoon

 

 **hyunjin:** felix: "shut up hyunjin im not in trouble"

 **hyunjin:** also felix: kissing ass

 

**felix:**

****

 

 **chan:** felix im gonna need you to tone down the selfies

 

 **felix:** what why

 

 **jisung:** hi my name is jisung and i object to this suggestion

 

 **hyunjin:** as much as i love watching felix suffer

 **hyunjin:** why the seflies

 

 **chan:** because this morning i logged onto twitter to see what was going on in the world

 **chan:** and everyone on my timeline had the same icon

**chan:**

 

 **jisung:** JHJFYUF ISNT THIS FROM HOMECOMING LAST YEAR

 **jisung:** THE ICONIC BLUE SUIT

 

 **chan:** i didnt bring all you fuckers together just for everyone to make this twink a cult and not me

 

 **hyunjin:** THIS TWINK A CULT AND NOT ME

 

 **felix:** THATS HIS ONLY CONCERN

 **felix:** NOT THAT THERES AN ACTUAL TWITTER CULT FOR ME

 **felix:** JUST THAT HE DOESNT HAVE ONE TOO

 

 **jisung:** what's the name of the cult tho

 

 **chan:** hype beast felix

 

 **jisung:** WFUGRFUYG

 **jisung:** BRB BLASTING MYSELF TO TWITTER TO JOIN

 

 **hyunjin:** FUCK ME TOO

 

 **woojin:** why arent you all in class

 **woojin:** and y'all wonder why ur mothers beat ur asses when report cards come in

 

 **felix:** yikes too real

 

 **woojin:** it aint gonna be too real when ur living under that bridge

 

 **felix:** wow look at that

 **felix:** suddenly im paying attention to my teacher

 

 **woojin:** that's what i thought

 **woojin:** rat

 

 **felix:** that suit was a mistake

 

 **chan:** this gc was a mistake

 

-

 

 **changbin:** good morning can you believe seventeen saved kpop

 

 **minho:** good morning can you believe seventeen invented dancing

 

 **jeongin:** good morning can you believe seventeen single-handedly ended all other groups

 

 **seungmin:** no sorry that's day6

 

 **changbin:** good morning can you believe seungmin is Wrong

 

 **seungmin:** listen buddy it's never too early to throw hands 

 **seungmin:** you can meet me out back anytime you want

 

 **minho:** careful seungmin changbin is a hardcore carat

 **minho:** he has a shrine under his bed

 

 **hyunjin:** but seungmin is also a hardcore myday

 **hyunjin:** and sadly his shrine isn't hidden

 

 **chan:** one time i touched changbin's carat bong and he threw me out

 **chan:** i had to walk home in the rain

 

 **jisung:** i tried to look at seungmin's copy of moonrise and he threw his laptop at me

 

 **felix:** k but y'all ever heard a monsta x song

 **felix:** i'd eat a shoe for im changkyun

 

 **jeongin:** that's a mood

 

 **woojin:** eating a shoe for idols is kpop stan culture

 

 **minho:** adugyuiys get out

 

 **jisung:** changbin im outside ur house let me in

 **jisung:** wait is that you doing the thanks fanchant

 **jisung:** dude i can see ur carat bong flashing from ur window

 

 **changbin:** what no

 

 **jisung:** LMAO IT JUST STOPPED AND THE LIGHT WENT OUT

 

 **changbin:** listen it's always good to be prepared

 

 **hyunjin:** prepared for what

 

 **changbin:** a seventeen concert duh

 

 **jeongin:** oh honey

 **jeongin:** you is broke

 

 **chan:** omg jeongin dont hurt him like that

 

 **changbin:** ok all of u can swallow a cactus

 **changbin:** i'll get there one day

 

 **minho:** yeah and im gonna get private dance lessons from kwon soonyoung

 **minho:** keep dreaming sweetie

 

 **felix:** wow look at all this foreshadowing

 

 **hyunjin:** if this is foreshadowing can i meet got7's jinyoung pls

 

 **seungmin:** hyunjin honey u wouldn't even be able to look at him

 **seungmin:** much less have a conversation with him

 

**hyunjin:**

 

 **woojin:** wait omg

 **woojin:** guys what time is it

 

 **jisung:** uhhh

 **jisung:** 4:25pm why

 

 **woojin:**  i cant believewe're all late to our study group

 

 **chan:** we had a study group?

 

 **felix:** hyung you organized it

 

 **chan:** i did??

 

 **woojin:** agudyg i hate us y'all have ten minutes to get ur asses to the library

 

 **jisung:** my ass is: moving

 

-

 

  _ **jisung** created  **gaysis**_

_**jisung** added  **chan, jeongin, hyunjin, woojin, minho, seungmin,** and  **changbin** to  **gaysis**_

 

 **jisung:** sos

 

 **hyunjin:** what the fuck is a gaysis

 

 **jisung:** it's like a crsis

 **jisung:** but gay

 

 **hyunjin:** understood pls continue

 

 **changbin:** why isn't felix here

 

 **jisung:** bc he's the reason for my gaysis

 

 **minho:** OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING

 **minho:** EVERYONE STAY CALM

 **minho:** STAY FUCKING CALM

 

 **chan:** thank you for that minho

 

 **jisung:** ok so

 **jisung:** the bro love i feel for felix

 **jisung:** may be a little less bro

 **jisung:** and a little more love

 

 **seungmin:** WHOOP THERE IT IS

 

 **jeongin:** wow hyung how long did it take you to figure that one out

 

 **jisung:** what

 

 **woojin:** yeah we all knew you were a Big Gay for him

 

 **jisung:** WHAT

 

 **chan:** dw i dont think felix knows tho

 

 **jisung:** did yall really know

 **jisung:** and no one thought to tell me

 **jisung:** "hey not to burst ur bubble but ur being really gay"

 

 **minho:** "burst ur bubble"

 

 **seungmin:** im telling u dude we really thought u knew

 **seungmin:** esp when u said that u think u might be gay in the gc

 

 **changbin:** yeah i thought that was ur whole "i realized im in love with my best friend lol" moment

 

 **jisung:** i

 **jisung:** hate all of u

 **jisung:** im gonna go take a long shower

 

 **jeongin:** have fun thinking abt felix

 

-

 

_**felix** created  **SOS EMERGENCY**_

_**felix** added  **hyunjin, minho, jeongin, seungmin, woojin, changbin,** and  **chan** to  **SOS EMERGENCY**_

 

 **felix:** GUYS HELP

 

 **chan:** oh my god

 

 **minho:** ufgoobbvjf

 

 **jeongin:** should i even ask why jisung isnt here

 

 **felix:** SO I THINK I HAVE A CRUSH ON JISUNG AND IM

 **felix:** FREAKING THE FUCK OUT

 

 **seungmin:** there was no need

 

 **changbin:** fludgufgue stop this is so funny

 

 **felix:**????

 

 **woojin:** nothing ignore him

 **woojin:** what made you think this lix?

 

 **hyunjin:** the difference in the approach asdf

 

 **felix:** uhh idk

 **felix:** we were just hanging out an hour ago ya know just bros being bros

 

 **minho:** bros being bros

 

 **felix:** and we were laying on my bed playing mario kart when i looked over at him

 **felix:** and the sunlight was hitting his face perfectly

 **felix:** he looked unreal yall i didnt think he was human

 **felix:** and he had this smile on his face that looked so soft and there was a slight flush on his cheeks from when we were wrestling earlier

 **felix:** and i kind of just

 **felix:** lost my breath and was like holy shit he's beautiful i wanna wake up to that face every morning

 **felix:** and now im freaking the fuck out pls help me

 

 **chan:** that was so soft My Heart

 **chan:** felix i love you

 

 **jeongin:** wow hyung trying to steal someone else's man have you no shame??

 

 **chan:** youre a problem child

 

 **changbin:** i honestly dont think you need to be freaking out this much

 **changbin:** i get that these feeling are a lot to take in but i dont think you have much to worry about

 

 **felix:** what do you mean?

 

 **changbin:** i mean jisung is just as gay for you as you are for him

 

 **seungmin:** CHANGBIN SHUT U P

 

 **felix:** how would you know???

 

 **changbin:** just a hunch

 

 **minho:** changbin's right though

 **minho:** i think you should tell him

 

 **felix:** how should i do it though??

 **felix:** i dont want to ruin what we have now

 

 **chan:** oh dont you worry

 **chan:** we got it all covered

 

-

 

_**chan** created  **team jilix**_

_**chan** added  **hyunjin, jeongin, minho, woojin, changbin,** and  **seungmin** to  **team jilix**_

 

 **chan:** alright boys it's our time to shine

 **chan:** we're gonna give these two the best fucking date of their lives

 **chan:** a story to tell the grandchildren

 

 **seungmin:** i am Here For This

 

 **hyunjin:** oh i have a whole list of cute date ideas im ready

 

 **minho:** why do you have a list of date ideas??

 

 **hyunjin:** im lonely ok

 

 **jeongin:** honestly it's abt time they realized theyre in love with each other

 **jeongin:** all that pining physically pains me

 **jeongin:** i cant stand being in the same room as those two

 

 **changbin:** ok well i say they go to an amusement park

 

 **hyunjin:** but theyre both scared of rides

 

 **changbin:** exactly

 

 **jeongin:** i like the way you think

 

 **chan:** help im lost

 

 **changbin:** they're both wimps when it comes to rides but who's more of a wimp?

 **changbin:** felix

 **changbin:** and who's hella whipped for felix?

 **changbin:** jisung

 **changbin:** so who's gonna man up and pretend they aren't scared to comfort felix?

 **changbin:** also jisung

 

 **chan:** ahhhh

 **chan:** ok i understand yes let's do it

 

 **seungmin:** umm not to be that person but

 **seungmin:** did y'all forget we're broke as hell

 

 **minho:** i know where my parents keep their emergency money

 

 **woojin:** minho you are not going to steal money from your parents

 

 **hyunjin:** it's called emergency money for a reason

 

 **minho:** is this not an emergency??

 

 **jeongin:** well

 

 **minho:** uh huh that's what i thought

 **minho:** i've done my job you losers can take care of the rest

 

 **changbin:** this is going to be a disaster 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so i was actually gonna update on friday buuuttt i ended up spending my friday afternoon in the hospital so that didn't work out yikes  
> BUT im ok now!!!
> 
> thank you all so so so much for almost 100 kudos already and your sweet comments i dont deserve yall


	3. korea's next top gays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **felix:** im moving to the usa to become a drag queen  
>  **jeongin** : you cant afford that  
>  **felix:** im a strong swimmer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a slight panic attack in this chapter, nothing too detailed or anything but just to be safe, you can skip the conversation where felix starts by asking jisung where he is

_**chat: team jilix (7)** _

 

 **chan:** good morning fellow jilix shippers

 **chan:** today looks like a great day to get some gays together

 

 **minho:** what a coincidence

 **minho:** i was just thinking the same thing

 

 **jeongin:** i can't believe this is actually happening and i wont have to suffer through all their pining anymore

 

 **woojin:** ur right

 **woojin:** now you get to suffer through their pda

 

 **seungmin:** way to ruin the fun hyung

 

 **woojin:** it's what i do best

 

 **changbin:** aight i suggest we go over the plan bc we're known for fucking things up

 

 **hyunjin:** you mean you're known for fucking things up

 

 **changbin:** irrelevant

 **changbin:** anyway minho

 

 **minho:** that's me

 

 **changbin:** you got the tickets right?

 

 **minho:** u know it

 **minho:** two all access bands for two lover boys

 

 **changbin:** chan you're getting felix there right?

 

 **chan:** already told him i was buying him ice cream

 **chan:** i kind of feel bad tho

 **chan:** he sounded so excited and now he won't get any

 

 **jeongin:** jisung will buy him ice cream

 

 **changbin:** and woojin?

 

 **woojin:** told jisung i was taking him to the dog cafe

 

 **seungmin:** a smart choice

 

 **changbin:** great so once y'all arrive we'll shove the tickets at them and bolt

 

 **jeongin:** that doesn't sound very organized

 

 **changbin:** shut up brat

 

 **jeongin:** i'm tired of all this disrespect

 

 **chan:** join the club

 **chan:** im the king of being disrespected

 

 **minho:** complain to someone who cares

 

 **hyunjin:** calm down ladies

 **hyunjin:**  jisung is texting me so i gotta blast

 **hyunjin:**  see y'all later

 

-

 

 ** _chat:_** **_hyunjin (2)_**

 

 **jisung:** hyunjin

 **jisung:** hyunjinnie

 **jisung:** jinnie

 **jisung:** h

 **jisung:** y

 **jisung:** u

 **jisung:** n

 **jisung:** j

 **jisung:** i

 

 **hyunjin:** omg what do you want you annoying shit

 

 **jisung:** n

 **jisung:** oh hi

 

 **hyunjin:** i hate you

 

 **jisung:** i know

 **jisung:** anyway i think woojin hyung is planning to kidnap me

 

 **hyunjin:**..

 **hyunjin:** you

 **hyunjin:** you what

 

 **jisung:** he texted me yesterday and asked me if i wanted to go to the dog cafe with him

 

 **hyunjin:** and??

 

 **jisung:** that's it

 **jisung:** that's all he did

 **jisung:** he didn't even make fun of me

 **jisung:** hyunjin he offered to pay

 **jisung:** it's obviously a trap

 **jisung:** dude are you still here

 **jisung:** omg i can't believe you're leaving during a life or death situation

 

-

 

**_chat: team jilix (7)_ **

 

 **hyunjin:** HI IM BACK

 **hyunjin:** WE HAVE A PROBLEM

 

 **changbin:** don't we always

 

 **jeongin:** what's wrong?

 

 **hyunjin:** JISUNG

 **hyunjin:** IS ON TO US

 **hyunjin:** HE JUST TEXTED ME AND SAID THAT HE THINKS WOOJIN IS GONNA KIDNAP HIM BC HE OFFERED TO PAY FOR HIM ATTHE CAFE

 

 **seungmin:** wow hyung you done goofed

 **seungmin:** you never pay for us

 

 **woojin:** listen in my defense i didn't think jisung was smart enough to notice

 

 **hyunjin:** o shit he's texting me again bc i havent replied

 **hyunjin:** quick what do i say

 

 **chan:** idk tell him one of your bullshit excuses

 **chan:** you're good at those

 

 **hyunjin:** i'd be offended if you weren't right

 

-

 

**_chat: jisung (2)_ **

 

 **hyunjin:** sorry my cat threw up

 

 **jisung:** you don't have a cat

 

 **hyunjin:** shut up

 **hyunjin:** anyway i doubt hyung is gonna kidnap you

 **hyunjin:** knowing him he's probably just trying to show off that he has a job and money and can be "responsible"

 

 **jisung:** he would

 **jisung:** im not gonna complain tho bc i am one Broke Bitch

 **jisung:** im a slut for other people paying

 

 **hyunjin:** i know

 **hyunjin:** you still owe me twenty bucks from last year

 **hyunjin:** jisung

 **hyunjin:** i can see you reading these

 **hyunjin:** i know where you live rat

 **hyunjin:** i'll get my money some day

 

-

 

_**chat: team jilix (7)** _

 

 **hyunjin:** crisis: averted

 

 **minho:** good job soldier 

 

 **chan:** what'd you tell him

 

 **hyunjin:** that woojin hyung is trying to show off his money bc he's a "responsible working adult"

 

 **woojin:** i would

 

 **jeongin:** you would

 

 **minho:** now that we've established that woojin is a show off

 **minho:** try not to be too shady when you're actually with him

 

 **woojin:** ohh not being shady

 **woojin:** yeah not good at that

 

 **minho:** bitch you about be amazing at it unless you want ur ass beat

 

 **woojin:** does everyone forget im the oldest here

 

 **seungmin:** dont know if youve noticed but we dont have much respect here 

 

 **woojin:** one day You'll See

 

 **hyunjin:** ok oldie

 

-

 

_**chat: [distant emo music] (9)** _

 

 **felix:** guys

 **felix:** guys look

 

 **seungmin:** what do you want

 

**felix:**

****

**felix:** it's us

 

 **seungmin:** i

 **seungmin:** oh my god

 

 **jisung:** THEYRE SO CUTE I WANT THEM ALL

 

 **changbin:** who are the two big dogs

 

 **felix:** chan hyung and woojin hyung obviously

 **felix:** they're our parents

 

 **jeongin:** minho hyung is more like a parent than woojin

 

 **woojin:** im sorry what

 

 **minho:** youve been out parented

 

 **woojin:** meet me out back mate 

 

 **felix:** pls no more fighting

 **felix:** im too tired to make bets

 

 **chan:** felix did you just wake up

 

 **felix:** pff what no

 **felix:** course not

 

 **chan:** good

 **chan:** bc im picking you up for ice cream in ten minutes

 

 **felix:** that's

 **felix:** that's today?

 

 **chan:** hm?

 

 **felix:** i mean

 **felix:** yeah lol i know im already ready

 

 **chan:** sure jan

 

 **woojin:** speaking of getting ready

 **woojin:** jisung im coming to pick you up in a few

 

 **jisung:** litty

 

 **woojin:** never mind you can walk

 

-

 

**_chat: team jilix (7)_ **

 

 **woojin:** we're here chan where are you

 **woojin:** you better get here quick bc jisung realized we're not at the dog cafe and won't shut the fuck up

 

 **chan:** im sorry felix just looked so happy to get ice cream that i bought him some first

 

 **minho:** you're too soft

 

 **chan:** i can't help it

 **chan:** we'll be there in two minutes

 

 **seungmin:** why are you texting

 **seungmin:** shouldn't you be paying attention to the road?

 

 **chan:** im insulted that youre suggesting i would text and drive

 **chan:** especially with such precious cargo 

 **chan:** im sitting in line to get into the amusement park

 **chan:** felix is bouncing in his seat

 

 **hyunjin:** cute

 

 **changbin:** he didn't even question why he's just happy to be there

 

 **chan:** ok we're in

 **chan:** where are you

 

 **woojin:** second row third section

 **woojin:** if you look close enough you'll see jisung knocking on his window

 

 **chan:** wow youre right

 **chan:** someone is gonna think you kidnapped him

 

 **jeongin:** wouldn't be too far from the truth

 

 **hyunjin:** well boys you know what this means

 **hyunjin:** operation jilix is now in motion

 

 **seungmin:** if this doesnt work i'll eat my shoe

 

 **changbin:** be positive

 

 **seungmin:** yeah not good at that

 

 **chan:** everyone shut up

 

 **minho:** i want live updates

 

 **woojin:** jisung saw felix and screamed

 **woojin:** felix screamed back

 

 **jeongin:** is this their mating call

 

 **woojin:** chan gave them the bracelets and told them to have fun

 **woojin:** jisung looks really confused poor boy

 **woojin:** felix gave chan a hug and ran off sjshsj

 **woojin:** DUGSJ

 **woojin:** jisung was still standing there so chan leaned closer and was like

 **woojin:** "we set this up for you two so you better not mess it up. now go get your man"

 **woojin:** his face is so red lmao

 

 **hyunjin:** ah gotta love the whipped

 

 **woojin:** he gone

 **woojin:** and now we wait for the gays to do their magic

 

 **seungmin:** wonderful

 

-

 

**_chat: jisung (2)_ **

 

 **felix:** jisungie

 **felix:** where are you

 

 **jisung:** im still at the cotton candy stand

 **jisung:** i thought you were right next to me?

 

 **felix:** i got distracted and walked away and now i dont know where i am

 **felix:** i dont remember this part of the park and there's a lot of people here

 **felix:** i keep getting pushed around and this guy keeps touching my back

 **felix:** jisungie i cant breathe

 

 **jisung:** hey hey calm down ok

 **jisung:** im leaving the stand now can you tell me what's around you

 

 **felix:** um

 **felix:** i can see some of the ferris wheel and there's a stage to my right

 **felix:** the viking ship is over here too

 

 **jisung:** ok i know where you are

 **jisung:** i'll be there as quick as i can okay

 **jisung:** just focus on breathing

 

 **felix:** im trying but it's hard

 **felix:** i feel like everyone's staring at me

 

 **jisung:** it's just in your head lix youre fine

 

 **felix:** it's just in my head

 

 **jisung:** that's right

 **jisung:** i see you

 **jisung:** oh sweetheart don't cry

 

 **felix:** im sorry

 

 **jisung:** dont apologize baby

 **jisung:** do you think you can get to me

 **jisung:** this group of people wont move out of my way and i cant shove past them

 

 **felix:** mhm

 

 **jisung:** good boy

 **jisung:** now come give me a hug

 

-

 

**_chat: team jilix (7)_ **

 

 **seungmin:** jilix are being quiet

 **seungmin:** im surprised we haven't received paragraphs about how fun all the rides are

 

 **chan:** maybe theyre just having a lot of fun

 

 **changbin:** maybe theyre making out

 

 **jeongin:** two types of people

 

 **woojin:** the park closes in an hour

 **woojin:** so we'll her smth soon

 

 **hyunjin:** if they aren't a couple by the end of this im gonna scream

 

 **minho:** you and me both

 

-

 

**_chat: jisung (2)_ **

 

 **felix:** jisung im sorry

 **felix:** please come back

 **felix:** i wont do it again i promise just please come back

 

 **jisung:** felix

 

 **felix:** im so so so sorry

 **felix:** i really didn't mean to kiss you we were just standing there and you looked so amazed by the fireworks

 **felix:** and i just got caught up in the moment

 

 **jisung:** you didn't mean it?

 

 **felix:** what

 

 **jisung:** the kiss

 **jisung:** you said you didn't mean it

 

 **felix:** well

 **felix:** i

 

 **jisung:** felix tell me honestly

 

 **felix:** i regret acting on impulse 

 

 **jisung:** oh

 

 **felix:** but i dont regret kissing you

 

 **jisung:** o h

 

 **felix:** look i've liked you for awhile now and i may have only realized it a few weeks ago

 **felix:** but you mean a lot to me jisung

 

 **jisung:** wow ok i

 **jisung:** wasn't expecting you to be the first to confess 

 **jisung:** wtf felix you stole my thunder

 

 **felix:**???

 

 **jisung:** i like you too dork

 **jisung:** have for awhile 

 

 **felix:** then why did you run away

 

 **jisung:** what would you have done if your best friend/crush kissed you out of nowhere

 

 **felix:** uh kiss back obviously

 

 **jisung:** youre a brat

 

 **felix:** u love me

 

 **jisung:** unfortunatly

 

 **felix:** hey be my boyfriend

 

 **jisung:** k

 

 **felix:** i take it back you can stay single

 

-

 

_**chat: [distant emo music] (9)** _

 

 **jisung:** lol hi

 

 **seungmin:** he lives

 

 **changbin:** so

 **changbin:** how'd it go

 

**felix:**

**felix:** it's your fav bfs

 

 **jeongin:** FUHREOUIFRF

 **jeongin:** JILIX LIVES ON

 

 **woojin:** this is the best photo i've ever taken

 **woojin:** it's my lockscreen

 

 **chan:** mine too

 

 **hyunjin:** i cant believe jilix just became korea's next top gays

 

 **minho:** NEXT TOP GAYS

 **minho:** stop someone make it a thing

 

 **seungmin:** i think korea needs to realize gays exist first

 

 **jisung:** too real

 

 **felix:** im moving to the usa to become a drag queen

 

 **jeongin:** you cant afford that

 

 **felix:** im a strong swimmer

 

 **jisung:** you can be whatever you want to be

 

 **seungmin:** are we gonna have to put up with ur gross pda now

 

 **felix:** :)

 

 **minho:** it was nice knowing you boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's done boys, they've officially upgraded from brofriends to boy friends
> 
> ty so so much to everyone who comments, the last chapter has over 20 comments
> 
> sorry if this is too long my sister woke me up at 8am and i had nothing better to do


	4. adios amighoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **minho:** jisung what the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ur most likely never gonna see them change the gc name its just gonna show up lmao enjoy

**_chat: sugar daddy showdown (9)_ **

 

 **seungmin:** life tip

 **seungmin:** never let hyunjin cook for you

 

 **hyunjin:** stop Attacking me

 

 **seungmin:** i need to make sure the world is aware of how stupid you are

 

 **hyunjin:** meanie

 

 **changbin:** what did he do

 

 **seungmin:** he came over and was like "seungminnie im gonna cook dinner for you"

 **seungmin:** and i was in a really lazy mood so i was just like lol k

 **seungmin:** i asked what we were having and he said fish and hey i like fish so who am i to stop the man

 **seungmin:** when he called me to eat i go into the kitchen and do you know what i saw bin

 

 **changbin:** what did you see min

 

 **seungmin:** a Whole Ass Fucking Fish

 **seungmin:** sitting right there on my kitchen table

 **seungmin:** eyeballs and all

 

 **woojin:** hyunjin what the fuck

 

 **hyunjin:** I THOUGHT THATS HOW IT WAS COOKED SHUT UP

 **hyunjin:** im sorry im not some fuckin gordon ramsay

 **hyunjin:** no one ever taught me how to cook

 

 **woojin:** you dont need to know how to cook to know not to shove a fucking fish in the oven

 

 **seungmin:** that's not even the worst part

 **seungmin:** when i looked at it i was like "the fuck is this"

 **seungmin:** and he says "i made fish, looks nice and crisp, huh?"

 

 **changbin:** LOOKS NICE AND CRISP HU H

 **changbin:** does it taste the same way hyunjin

 

 **hyunjin:** ya know what fuck All of you

 **hyunjin:** i was just trying to be a good friend and now you're all making fun of me

 **hyunjin:** fine i just wont ever do anything for any of you again

 

 **seungmin:** aw buddy

 **seungmin:** we were't trying to make you feel bad

 **seungmin:** we just wanted to make sure you know how stupid you are

 

 **hyunjin:** gO AWAY

 

 **woojin:** we all have our days jinnie 

 **woojin:** if you really want to learn to cook go for it

 **woojin:** i can help you if you want

 **woojin:** and i'll force minho to do it too

 

 **minho:** no you won't

 

 **hyunjin:** :(

 

 **minho:** ok fine

 

 **hyunjin:** :)

 

 **changbin:** what'd y'all do with the fish anyway

 

 **hyunjin:** stop talking about iT

 

 **seungmin:** oh we left it on my neighbors porch

 

 **woojin:** i

 **woojin:** wh y

 

 **seungmin:** bc theyre old and mean and deserve to come home to a burnt ass fish

 

 **changbin:** right

 

-

 

 **felix:** this just in: i hate jisung

 

 **jeongin:** uh oh

 **jeongin:** trouble in paradise

 

 **minho:** understandable

 **minho:** but why

 

 **jisung:** choke

 

 **felix:** bc i just watched jisung try to clean his bathroom mirror with a swiffer wet jet

 

 **chan:** i

 

 **minho:** jisung what the fuck

 

 **jisung:** we're out of windex! clorox wipes streak the mirror! it was the only other option!

 

 **jeongin:** do you not have a sink that provides water

 

 **jisung:** but water wouldn't get rid of the germs

 

 **jeongin:** so you decided to use a swiffer instead

 **jeongin:** something you use to clean the floor

 

 **jisung:** listen we aren't here to dwell on my past bad decisions

 

 **felix:** yes we are

 

 **chan:** yeah the rest of us have a gc dedicated to just you making bad decisions

 

 **minho:** chan what the fuck youre not supposed to tell him that

 

 **jisung:** WHAT

 **jisung:** felix?

 **jisung:** baby?

 **jisung:** you're in it too?

 

 **felix:** i started the gc

 

 **jeongin:** he provides most of our content

 

 **jisung:** betrayed

 **jisung:** by my own boyfriend

 **jisung:** suddenly im single

 

 **felix:** oh thank god

 

 **jisung:** IM LEAVING

 

 **minho:** adios amighoe  

 

-

 

_**chat: christopher robin (2)** _

 

 **felix:** chaaannn hyyuuunngggg

 **felix:** chrriiisss

 **felix:** christopher

 **felix:** answer me bitch

 

 **chan:** what do you want brat

 

 **felix:** im trying to do my hw but some of the words are confusing me

 **felix:** can you help me

 **felix:** please

 

 **chan:** yeah sure thing

 **chan:** let me just finish up the paper im doing and i'll call you

 

 **felix:** nono take your time

 **felix:** your grades are important too

 **felix:** i can wait

 

 **chan:** i only have a paragraph left

 **chan:** all i did was bullshit a review on a book we were reading in english

 

 **felix:** a straight a student

 

 **chan:** a gay a student

 

 **felix:** i dont know you

 

 **chan:** yikes guess i cant help you now :/

 **chan:** my mom told me not to talk to strangers ://

 

 **felix:** sorry typo

 **felix:** what i meant to say was please help me with my hw chan hyung youre my favorite person in the whole wide world

 **felix:** jisung who?

 

 **chan:** there you go

 **chan:** im sending that screenshot to jisung btw

 

 **felix:** i take it back i hate you

 

-

 

_**chat: sugar daddy showdown (9)** _

 

 **felix:** >:(

 

 **minho:** oh no

 **minho:** he's whipping out the frowny face

 **minho:** who hurt him

 

 **changbin:** probably smth stupid like he dropped his fruit loops

 

 **felix:** listen

 **felix:** that was a tramatizing event

 **felix:** i cried real tears

 

 **jisung:** we know baby

 **jisung:** we were all there

 **jisung:** i was the one who bought you more fruit loops

 

 **jeongin:** im still not used to jisung using pet names

 

 **woojin:** wym

 **woojin:** he's always used them for felix

 **woojin:** now theyre just gayer

 

 **jisung:** im gayer

 

 **woojin:** ur right

 

 **felix:** anyway back to the original topic

 **felix:** >:(

 

 **hyunjin:** there was no original topic but k

 

 **seungmin:** why the long face

 

 **felix:** chan hyung

 **felix:** is an idiot

 **felix:** and im gonna fight him

 

 **chan:** your arms are noodles you aint gonna do shit

 

 **felix:** :(((

 

 **minho:** explain

 

 **felix:** there were these dicks at school who were giving jisung and i shit for being together

 **felix:** and chan hyung found out so he went to talk to them

 **felix:** and told them that they could bully him as long as they left us alone

 **felix:** and hyungie is being bullied and i feel like it's my fault :(

 

 **jisung:** wowow wait

 **jisung:** youre telling me the reason those assholes havent said anything this week

 **jisung:** if bc theyre targeting chan hyung now??

 

 **chan:** it's not that big of a deal guys

 **chan:** the stuff they say to me isnt even half as bad as the things they said to you guys

 **chan:** besides it doesnt really bother me bc i know theyre not right

 **chan:** and felix :( it's not your fault sweetheart :(

 

 **felix:** but it is :(

 

 **woojin:** felix honey you are in no way responsible for what those dicks do

 **woojin:** they chose to make fun of someone for being themselves, not you

 

 **felix:** i know but still :(

 

 **minho:** woojin hyung is right

 **minho:** however

 **minho:** chan hyung could've handled it better

 

 **chan:** hey

 

 **minho:** you should've told the principle hyung instead of taking the bullying for yourself

 **minho:** bc even if they're leaving felix and jisung alone, now theyre targeting you

 **minho:** either way theyre still being toxic people 

 

 **chan:** i know that now

 **chan:** i told the principle yesterday

 **chan:** but in the moment my only concern was keeping them away from jilix

 

 **changbin:** if they bother you again on monday tell me and i'll kick their asses until they dont bother anyone

 

 **hyunjin:** hate to break it to u but ur not scary

 

 **seungmin:** you obviously ween't around that one time munchlax went missing

 

 **jisung:** please dont remind me

 **jisung:** i still have nightmares

 

 **jeongin:** ya know all of this made me realize smth

 **jeongin:** chan hyung does so much for us and i feel like we dont give enough back

 

 **chan:** you could start by showing me some respect

 

 **hyunjin:** nah

 

 **felix:** youre right

 

 **minho:** yeah hyung 

 **minho:** when my parents didnt support my dancing and never showed up to my performances, you were always there cheering loud enough for two

 **minho:** you even brought me flowers and boasted about me as if i was your son and made me feel on top of the world

 

 **woojin:** my old vocal teacher used to be really hard on me and often criticized me more than she complimented me which lead to me never wanting to sing again

 **woojin:** but somehow you managed to lift my spirits and encourage me to keep going forward, and for that i will forever be grateful 

 

 **changbin:** you're a really talented song writer and producer. you always take the time to sit down with me to help me turn my small ideas into something beyond amazing

 **changbin:** i wouldn't have been able to make as quality music as i do if it weren't for you

 **changbin:** i hope im as good as you one day hyung, i really look up to you

 

 **hyunjin:** when i got really insecure about my dancing last year, you were always there when i needed someone to vent to

 **hyunjin:** you comforted me and made me feel like i was good enough again, so thank you

 

 **seungmin:** i was failing one of my classes at the beginning of the year and was really stressing over it bc

 **seungmin:** ya know my parents

 **seungmin:** to the point where i had a breakdown and you took the time out of your own studies to tutor me until i was comfortable and able to bring my grades up

 **seungmin:** if it wasnt for you i wouldn't have passed that class and i really appreciate it

 

 **jisung:** two years ago when i fell in love with rapping and started posting covers and originals online, a lot of people told me that i wasn't good enough and that i should just give up

 **jisung:** but you helped me ignore all their comments and focus on becoming the best rapper i can be and that it doesnt matter what others think as long as im enjoying myself

 

 **jeongin:** when i started high school last year i got picked on a lot as a freshman bc i was quiet and never looked people in the eyes when i spoke and my anxiety was always through the roof

 **jeongin:** and i'd always get shoved around in the hallways and laughed at in class when i stuttered while answering questions

 **jeongin:** then after a few months i met you and you became the only friend i had in high school and the only person i felt comfortable around

 **jeongin:** and you introduced me to all of my favorite people now and welcomed me into your group of friends without hesitation

 **jeongin:** i just

 **jeongin:** you really helped me feel better hyung

 

 **felix:** i haven't lived in korea for too long, maybe only about three or four years

 **felix:** when i moved here i knew little to no korean and people used to mock me for my accent when i did speak it and pronounced words wrong

 **felix:** having you come up to me and talk to me in english was such a relief and i felt like i could finally relax for the first time after moving

 **felix:** you were the first person to approach me and you even went as far as helping me improve my korean

 **felix:** not only that, but you've done so so much for me through the years and i could never thank you enough for it all

 **felix:** i love you hyung (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

 

 **chan:** gyusy wtf im teairnf up

 **chan:** hqndg on i canft see my keyboafd

 

 **hyunjin:** aw hyung

 **hyunjin:** dont cry

 

 **chan:** shuet up dont tell me waht to do

 **chan:** i love you guys so much

 

 **seungmin:** <3

 

 **chan:** that's it

 **chan:** i hope none of yall are busy 

 **chan:** and by that i mean i know none of yall are busy

 **chan:** bc ur coming to my house and we're gonna have the best sleepover ever and im gonna cuddle you all to death

 

 **felix:** sounds like a great way to go honestly

 

 **minho:** we'll be on our way soon dad

 

 **chan:** i love my family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s/o to the person who commented requests on the last chapter, they're the reason i was actually able to make this update
> 
> also!! almost 200 kudos!! what the fuck!!! i dont deserve any of you im so dqgwdu
> 
> if there's anything you guys want to see in future chapters, don't be afraid to comment, i'm open to anything!


	5. bussy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **felix:** yo bro  
>  **jisung:** dont yo bro me im literally ur boyfriend  
>  **felix:** bros before hoes  
>  **jisung:** felix im the bro and hoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is like 80% jilix  
> im so sorry for what youre abt to read

**_chat: sugar daddy showdown (9)_ **

 

 **chan:** hey

 **chan:** do any of yall know what sin city is

  
**hyunjin:** isn't it like

 **hyunjin:** a movie??

 

 **chan:** no

 **chan:** well i mean maybe but that's not what i'm talking about

 

 **minho:** it's las vegas

 

 **chan:** correct

 **chan:** then do you know what den city is

 

 **felix:** mass over volume

 

 **chan:** DGAYG FELIX CHOKE

 **chan:** YOU RUINED THE JOKE

 

 **felix:** WHATDU

 

 **chan:** IT'S SUPPOSED TO GO LIKE

 **chan:** "hey do you know what sin city is

 **chan:** "yeah las vegas"

 **chan:** "then do you know what den city is"

 **chan:** "no"

 **chan:** "mass over volume"

 

 **seungmin:** wow

 **seungmin:** a science joke

 

 **jeongin:** surprised felix got that one right

 

 **felix:** ajgdygw shut up

 **felix:** science is like the only subject im good at

 

 **jisung:** my boyfriend is a science nerd and i love him a lot

 

 **minho:** get that shit out of the gc

 

-

 

 **chan:** it smells like upkyle in my house

 

 **felix:** what's upkyle

 

 **chan:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PA-F6ip9uY

 

 **felix:** i cant believe i fell for that one im leaving

 

 **chan:** budd y

 

 **felix:** I CANT BELIEVE I GOT THE DENSITY ONE BUT I COULDN'T GET THE VINE REFERENCE I HATE MYSELF

 

 **chan:** big Mood

 

-

 

 **woojin:** im bored bitches

 

 **changbin:** congratulations

 

 **seungmin:** by day6

 

 **jisung:** shut the fuck up

 

 **woojin:** ahem

 **woojin:** i said

 **woojin:** im bored bitches

 

 **changbin:** and i said congratulations we can all read

 **changbin:** except maybe jisung

 

 **jisung:** die.

 

 **chan:** yes woojin we're all free and on our way rn

 **chan:** right boys?

 

 **woojin:** you know me so well channie ( ´ ▽ ` )

 

 **hyunjin:** i actually have plans today

 

 **chan:** right. boys.

 

 **hyunjin:** wow haha look at that im suddenly free

 **hyunjin:** can't wait to see you today woojin hyung!

 

 **chan:** :)

 

-

 

**_chat: jisung (2)_ **

 

 **felix:** yo

 **felix:** yo bro

 

 **jisung:** dont yo bro me im literally ur boyfriend

 

 **felix:** bros before hoes

 

 **jisung:**  felix im the bro and hoe

 

 **felix:** irrelevant

 **felix:** anyway come over

 

 **jisung:** why should i

 

 **felix:** my mom's not home

 

 **jisung:** i dont have a ride

 

 **felix:** i have strawberry milk

 

 **jisung:** STRAWBEWWIE MILK

 

 **felix:** ,,;

 

 **jisung:** did i just,,,

 

 **felix:** uwu

 

 **jisung:** uwu™

 **jisung:** can u believe we're furries

 

 **felix:** ur the furry here

 

 **jisung:** ur the one dating the furry here

 

 **felix:** u got me there

 

 **jisung:** :3c

 

 **felix:** suddenly im not in a relationship

 

 **jisung:** NOP[LS

 **jisung:** FELIX

 **jisung:** FELIX WHAT ABT THE STRAWBERRY MILK

 **jisung:** RTGATRAT

 

-

 

**_chat: sugar daddy showdown (9)_ **

 

**hyunjin:**

**hyunjin:** his neck

 **hyunjin:** his back

 

 **minho:** stop

 **minho:** dont continue

 

 **hyunjin:** lick his bussy and his crack

 

 **seungmin:** STOP

 

**jisung:**

****

**jisung:** turn it up this is my favorite song

 

 **chan:** I CHOKED

 

**hyunjin:**

****

**hyunjin:** spongebob when patrick asks to see his bussy

 

 **changbin:** this close

 **changbin:** so very close

 **changbin:** to throwing my whole ass phone out the window

 

**felix:**

****

**felix:** patrick when spongebob says his bussy is ready

 

 **minho:** IM LEAVING

 **minho:** GOODNIGHT

 **minho:** I THINK IVE HAD ENOUGH FOR TODAY

 

 **jeongin:** what's going on?

 **jeongin:** why is every texting at 11:30 at night im trying to sleep

 

 **chan:** QUICK EVERYONE SPAM THE CHAT

 

 **woojin:** JEONGIN HONEY DONT WORRY EVERYTHING IS FINE

 **woojin:** JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP ANGEL I PROMISE YOURE NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING IMPORTANT

 

 **jeongin:** ?

 

 **seungmin:** iuiege

 

 **_seungmin_ ** _kicked_ **_jeongin_ ** _out of the chat_

 

 **jisung:** SEUNGMIN

 

 **seungmin:** SHUT UP I PANICKED

 **seungmin:** AT LEAST HE CANT READ IT NOW

 

 **chan:** i just

 **chan:** can we all just

 **chan:** go to sleep now

 **chan:** pls

 

 **minho:** yeah let's sleep before chan dies of a heart attack

 

 **chan:** my blood sugar is so high because of this chat

 

-

 

**_chat: felix_ **

 

 **jisung:** hey felix wanna facetime

 **jisung:** im tired and i miss ur face :(

 **jisung:** felix

 **jisung:** omg are you still not replying to me bc of the furry thing

 

 **felix:** SORRY I GOT DISTRACTED MY UBER

 

 **jisung:** HOW THE FUC K

 

 **felix:** pls dont ask

 

 **jisung:** im asking

 

 **felix:** no ur not

 

 **jisung:** pls elaborate on how u got distracted by uber

 

 **felix:** no

 

 **jisung:** blocked and reported

 **jisung:** WAIT LIX IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT

 **jisung:** wait were on spring break nvm

 **jisung:** i almost gave my self a heart attack

 **jisung:** u should still go to bed tho

 

 **felix:** i actually just got in bed so we can ft if ur still up for it

 **felix:** i was eating crunchy cheetos while watching vine compilations

 **felix:** living a life of luxury

 

 **jisung:** something only you would say

 **jisung:** but ofc im still up for it

 **jisung:** like i said i miss ur face

 

 **felix:** haha u miss me

 

 **jisung:** yes bc i like u

 **jisung:** somehow

 

 **felix:** wow you like me how embarrassing

 

 **jisung:** lix we're dating

 

 **felix:** OH SHIT UR RIGHT LMAO

 

 **jisung:** just call me loser

 

-

 

**_chat: sugar daddy showdown (9)_ **

 

 **changbin:** hey hey

 

 **hyunjin:** hola

 

 **changbin:** we're using the spicy language now are we ;))) oh ;)))))

 

**hyunjin:**

 

-

 

**_chat: jisung_ **

 

 **felix:** how was your day without my beautiful face

 

 **jisung:** amazing

 **jisung:** i spent most of the day doing a project that's due at the end of break

 

 **felix:** what was it abt??

 

 **jisung:** idk some mexican dictator dude

 

 **felix:** you say as if you didn't just do the whole project

 **felix:** did you bullshit the whole thing

 

 **jisung:** ye

 **jisung:** s

 **jisung:** i did

 

 **felix:** and how did that go

 

 **jisung:** it went wonderful

 **jisung:** im a certified bullshitter

 **jisung:** i have a degree in bullshitting

 

 **felix:** im muting this chat

 

-

 

**_chat: sugar daddy showdown (9)_ **

 

 **jeongin:** recommend me some songs rats

 

 **chan:** believer, battle cry, and hold by imagine dragons are p gucci

 

 **jeongin:** i

 **jeongin:** cant believe u just tried to rec an imagine dragons song to me

 

 **chan:** liste n

 

 **jeongin:** im listening

 

 **chan:** some,, some song are pretty good,,

 

**jeongin:**

****

**jeongin:** ur lies make me cry

 

 **chan:** why cant i ever get any support in my christian household

 **chan:** u asked for my recommendation don’t attack me in my own home

 

 **jeongin:** yeah but i was expecting a good one

 

 **chan:** ur tearing this family apart

 

**jeongin:**

****

 

 **chan:** WHATT HR FICK

 

**jeongin:**

****

 

 **chan:** I guess u can say

 **chan:** he's a

 **chan:** horny

 **chan:** boy

 

 **jeongin:** no u cant say that

 

 **chan:** the law can’t contain me jeongin i am the law

 

 **jeongin:** tell me another joke

 

**chan:**

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont really have an excuse for taking three weeks to update lmao i just didnt have any ideas 
> 
> i've been writing aus on twitter recently (just finished a hyungwonho one and started a nomin one), so i'd really appreciate it if you guys checked them out @fairyjaem
> 
> thank you for 200+ kudos ily!!!


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